Your favorite DAVIDs of 2024

gender policies, how to vet play partners, and lots of blood

“Every day, once a day, give yourself a present. Don't plan it. Don't wait for it. Just let it happen. It could be a new shirt at the men's store, a catnap in your office chair, or two cups of good, hot, black coffee.”

Anticipating Parks and Rec’s “Treat Yo Self” by two decades, Special Agent Dale Cooper’s sage advice from the first season of Twin Peaks is what comes to mind when I think about this weekly newsletter. For the past five years, DAVID has been the more-or-less daily present that one-ups obligations and chores for no good reason whatsoever. I hope you have a similar release valve in your life, a regular opportunity to be irresponsible and self-indulgent that’s not doomscrolling or bed-rotting. You deserve it!

If you’ve enjoyed my newsletter this year, I’m sending you a gentle reminder that I offer one free month of subscriber-only DAVID content if you send me a screenshot of your donation to any of fundraiser for Palestinians trying to survive within Gaza or relocate. (Streets are saying that multiple donations translate to multiple free months…). Since so many of my most popular posts are paywalled, this is your chance access them for the low, low price of literally any amount of money.

1. Which side is hell on?: Reading W.G. Sebald’s sensational Austerlitz—about a Jewish architectural historian who uncovers his past as a child refugee of the Nazi annexation and occupation of Czechoslovakia—is a profound experience at any time, but in particular since October 7, 2023.

2. On gender policies: Other than FAW’s inspired “must be or be accompanied by a woman” rule, gender policies for queer events never sit right with me. Here’s why.

3. There is no “safe”: my guide for vetting sadists, dominants, and tops: Of the top-ten performing posts this year, four were from this series. This means a lot to me because I consider it to be a community service of sorts. Over my decade in leather, I’ve made a lot of mistakes and wound up in a lot of situations—from fainting in scene to being stalked to getting manipulated by “community” “pillars” looking for someone new to control—and it would be nice if someone other than me could learn from them.

4. See above.

5. See above.

6. See above.

7. What if it’s a bad pain?: Jade in a fluffy pink dress for Folsom Street Fair. What more do you need?

8. Navel gazing: What if I got my bellybutton pierced so many times it just fell out?

9. On “content”: More needles, big ones. I’m sensing a theme here.

10. Are you having a phobic response to your trauma?: How I turned a body mod into the opportunity to write about psychoanalytic theory.

11. Bonus | This is not a review of “Poor Things”: This post performed really well last year but was too late for the 2023 roundup, which is a shame, because Poor Things sucked so much ass I had to write about it. It’s also in conversation with my new series on slurs, so consider it recommended reading for DAVIDians¹.

Reminder that I’ll send you one free month of subscriber-only DAVID content if you send me a screenshot of your donation to any of fundraiser for Palestinians trying to survive within Gaza or relocate to safety. Gaza Funds is one place to get started.

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1. Is referring to DAVID heads like this in poor taste? Sound off in the comments!