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I don't think this is quite what you're referring to, but this newsletter really got me thinking about fantasy and how for me it can sometimes be great but also can sometimes be a coping mechanism that becomes all-consuming. Early-ish in the pandemic, I went through a long phase of being wildly unhappy, literally listened to the Inside soundtrack over and over and over, and found myself falling into old habits of fantasizing about specific types of scenarios that excited me. That in and of itself wouldn't necessarily be bad, but it led to me feeling really hostile towards my actual life (and people in it) and withdrawing, because of the allure of the fantasy. I can't even explain what eventually pulled me out, but something did, and I'm glad for it. Less than a year or so after all of this, my life took some unexpected by wonderful turns that actually brought me closer to making some of those fantasies as much of a reality as possible. The relationship between reality and fantasy is strange and interesting. I look forward to hearing more about your takes on fantasy!

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thank you for reading! it makes you wonder if the fantasy is what caused that hostility, though. it sounds like the fantasy is part of what got you through it...?

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Fair point! I suppose what it really was was a way of coping, but one that would have been better paired with actually looking and addressing what it was I needed to cope with at that time. It's easy use fantasizing as a distraction to avoid something else, rather than a tool used in tandem with addressing a root cause, to make dealing with that more bearable. Once I was able to do that, the fantasy stopped being this all-consuming thing that I used as a wedge between myself and my reality and instead became a useful coping mechanism and/or exploration when the urge strikes me, while still allowing me to stay grounded in what's going on in my life. I'll definitely be thinking more about this!

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